What makes you happy to be gay?

Sometimes just need to remind myself the blessings of living as a gay male in a heteronormative society...

Radishes

Let me share a horror story of radishes. Yes, the sweet and innocent red vegetable from summertime. Radishes.

Buy All The Presents!

Luke 2:8-15ish In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”

When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began to be filled with stress, panic and worry saying to one another, “Oh good grief, what are we supposed to buy for him? We need to find that perfect gift. The gift that will be so much better than all others! BUY ALL THE PRESENTS! Hurry! We must stampede the marketplaces in search of the greatest everything! We need an entire new wardrobe too! Can we remodel the house before too?”

Is that the true nature of the birth narrative? Is that what God was expecting for us in remembering the birth of His Son in human flesh on earth?

Luke 2:15-20 When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began saying to one another, “Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.” So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the baby as He lay in the manger. When they had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about this Child. And all who heard it wondered at the things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart. The shepherds went back, glorifying and praising God for all that they had heard and seen, just as had been told them.

I have written in another post before: "The humble circumstances of the birth scene was quite appropriate for the One “who for our sakes became poor” (2 Corinthians 8:9). God was demonstrating true, eternal values in his arrangements for the incarnation of his Son, values that emphasized family relationships and being culturally relevant. As well, the circumstances of his birth imply that Yeshuah understands and identifies with the poverty in which most of the world lives today and always has lived. Finally, the simplicity of Yeshuah’s birth demonstrated the fact that though He was God in human body, He could be approached by anyone and would welcome all who would come to Him."

It's Christmas. Don't panic. Don't stress. Seek and enjoy the simplicity of the quiet of the Season to remember the birth of God With Us.

Rambling Journal Entry 121103

Being single for 43 years of my 46? Miserable? Ha! I've learned to be independent, exploring the many ways that I am me, full of self-worth as well as enjoying a healthy career, community theatre, and financial stability. Spectacular times. I may have missed out on a lot of the trial and error on the dating scene that many experience when they're younger. That being said I've got a pretty good understanding on what I'm looking for in a guy, knowing what works and what does not. I have a lot to offer my future husband and he had better match up.

Roxy

My sister-in-law died yesterday after ten months with lung cancer. I just wanted to share with y'all a blip from an email from her showing how great of a lady she was:

"Some StraightBros get it" Case #121019

One of my girlfriends messaged me this regarding her husband:

Rambling Reasoning 121016

I am 46 years old and I have traveled life well. I know about being abandoned, and I survive. I mainly survive by mostly sharing the good and primarily bottling up the bad. For when you've been abandoned enough, you know that keeping it inside is the safest and most secure as you are the one standing there. And guess what, the sun rises and life continues.

Doc lowered my Lexapro

My primary care doctor has allowed me to reduce Lexapro because of the increased endorphins I have been getting from working out at the gym. But, he also said that I need to ask friends to observe me and to let me know of any changes whatsoever, so as to not have any repeat of last winter. Well, the friends that saw what happened last year, they walked away. So, lesson learned. Shan't, shall just remain my simple quiet self, and post such ramblings on random blogs.

Aged Wine

A friend observed: "Ever thought that you're like wine, just aging for the right moment? You're in better shape now than you have been in years, financially better now than you have been in years, you look a decade younger than you are. Just saying..." Guess they are correct (-;

Rambling Journal Entry 120724

So, this sludge-butt couch-potato just wants to admit how surprising and relatively easy it has been to drag his carcass out of bed in the dark morning and head to a gym for cardio and weight training. And surprise, surprise, surprise. I feel different, I feel good in many realms, I feel less sludgy. Dufus me, waiting until the start of the latter half of my planetary existence. Uff da. A'yup.

My rose-colored glasses got bumped...

Yeah, well, so I am 46 and gay and out and authentic. I have experienced the gamut of reactions from family and friends. However, last evening, I received a FB message from my niece's husband that kind of shook me up.

Social Gadfly Ponder Ramble

"HATE", it's just a word. The verb's definition is powerful: "to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest". However, consider it next time. Do we really have "intense dislike; extreme aversion or hostility" towards the recipient of our hate? For what reason do we want to pollute our heart with hatred?

Simple Facts Passive Aggressive Ramble.

I live paycheck to paycheck paying off bills and $44K in debts, along with those necessities to maintain a sense of living. Occasionally I do lapse and splurge on something, as a night out or such. My debts are my own fault. I own that. One negative fact about being in debt that grates on me personally -- the inability to be able to donate to worthy causes. If I had not gotten myself in debt, oh the number of causes I would love to support. That is life.

Passive Agressive, Forever Lonely, Selfish Rambling Rant:

I've traveled this sod 45 years. I have seen tons of "best-friends" movies.

How Silent Was That Night?

 A Look Back at The Nativity Story...

It was an intriguing story worth investigating. A young married couple, the wife in hard throes of labor, had been rejected admission to a hotel. They were forced to lodge in a barn where the young woman gave birth to their first-born child. It is difficult to imagine a hotel manager being so cruel and heartless as to deny the basic comforts necessitated for such a situation. Fortunately for us Americans, this happened in a foreign culture, a culture we could consider base.



After careful studying and living in the culture of this young couple, and learning from those more educated in this area*, I discovered Western tradition has influenced the telling of this story. From these studies I hereby submit a synopsis closer to what may have actually occurred on a night that may not have been so silent.

Beth Lechem Suq

This young couple began their journey in the small town of Nazaret. Yoseph and Miryam had been recently wed when the Governor of Judea called a census for all residents of the small nation. It was required for each male to return to his ancestral home for this census. For Yoseph and Miryam, it would be in Beth Lechem some 75 miles south. Yoseph, though young, knew that it would be wiser to begin this trip early in Miryam’s pregnancy.

The arduous journey would be approximately a week or so. Fortunately they would not have to travel alone as there were other residents of the Nazaret region who also had to return southward to Beth Lechem for this census. Traveling in a caravan would offer security from bandits; and it would provide comfort for Miryam as there would be several mother-figures to dote over her being with child.

The easier route would be to travel eastward through the Yizreel Valley to reach the Jordan Valley and follow the river down to Yericho. After a period of repose, they would turn southwest and begin the exhausting ascent to Yerushalaim. A stop in Yerushalaim would allow them to visit with Miryam’s relatives, Zekaryah and Elisheba; and a required yet cherished pilgrimage to the Holy Temple overlooking the Eastern Hill. After a time of warm hospitality, they would continue their journey southeasterly to Beth Lechem, a trek of only five miles.

Once in Beth Lechem, they would lodge with Yoseph’s relatives. According to the account written by Luke, they stayed at an inn. A bit of clarification for the “no room in the inn” part of the story – the original Greek word that the author Luke used in this passage is “kataluma”, which is used elsewhere in the Last Supper stories (Luke 22:11 and Mark 14:14). “Kataluma” in its original context refers to an upper room or to a guestroom. When Luke refers to an inn as in the Good Samaritan parable, he uses the Greek word, “pandocheion”, which is a word that refers to a public place where all are received.

In the days of Yoseph and Miryam, inns were located along the well-traveled routes such as up near Yerushalaim or Yericho. As well, these inns were frequented more often than not by the wealthy, especially Romans or other foreigners. This couple was of quite modest means and they had family in town. For this culture it is an honor to offer hospitality; and it is considered an insult to reject such an offer, especially for the women who knew Miryam was pregnant with her first child.

Sometime after their arrival in Beth Lechem, it was the celebration of the autumnal Feast of Tabernacles or the Feast of Booths. This was a time for the Jews to celebrate the harvest and to remember their ancestors’ journey from Egypt to Canaan. During this week of celebration, on their rooftops they crafted booths made of branches and boughs of trees. They would dwell in these temporary shelters to remember how their ancestors dwelt in the wilderness for those forty years of wandering. This may have been the upper room where “there was no room”.

The home of Yoseph’s relatives had to have been a maddening chaos what with this crazy census gathering many distant relatives to this humble abode. But it was a joyous time for them as they began many preparations to celebrate the Feast of Booths. The home was small, built in a typical split-level style. The main level was the family’s living area and usually in this upper level was an area considered to be the guestroom of sorts. The lower level would have housed the livestock. Stables, as we have come to know them, were not in use in Judea. Flocks of sheep were protected in sheepfolds made of stone walls. Other animals were brought into a section of the house for safety and to provide warmth. Being Yoseph was undoubtedly the younger of the relatives, the elder guests were given priority to the guestroom, or to the booth crafted on the rooftop.

So amidst this impromptu family reunion, “the time came for the baby to be born.” This phrase indicates that Yoseph and Miryam chose not to return immediately back to Nazaret after the census as she was entering the third trimester. It was not an opportune time to be traveling the rugged terrain. In this culture, women of the family would never leave a young mother alone to deliver a firstborn child. The house was abuzz with excitement for the birth of this firstborn baby. Add to this excitement, the anticipation for the birth of their long awaited messiah, a message promised to Yoseph and Miryam by the angel.

When Miryam entered the first stages of labor, the women helped her down to the lower level as there was more room and privacy in the stable. The men paced the floors while one of the elder women helped usher this child into the world. It was God donning human flesh coming to live among them. They were struck with awe when they gained their first glimpse of this innocent baby boy. He looked just like them—black curly hair and shining dark eyes, so perfect and full of life.

Meanwhile in the rocky hills along Beth Lechem were a group of shepherds watching their flock of sheep. Shepherds were considered the lower end of the social scale; after all they did smell like sheep. But it was to this group disdained by society that God sent his angelic messengers to announce the birth of his son here on earth. Some speculations as to why God chose this group of lowlife: Yeshuah’s ancestor David had kept his father’s sheep on the same hills near Beth Lechem; and these shepherds may have been tending sheep destined for Temple sacrifices, so their relating news received by angels would be quite credible.

What are the implications of understanding the culture and the background of this much-heralded birth? For one, Yeshuah was born, grew up, worked, lived and died in a cultural context quite similar to that of the majority of people in the world today. Imposing a “Western” worldview on the circumstances of his birth tends to distort the depth of the event for ourselves. As well, it deprives non-Western people of an opportunity to identify with the people of the Bible. Through an understanding of the circumstances of this birth, they are afforded this chance.

The linguistic and cultural backgrounds of Scripture indicate that the Messiah was born in a home that reflects the simplicity of a majority of homes today. He was born in the context of an “extended” family and was cherished as a firstborn male child. Yeshua was born as the result of a supernatural conception, but according to normal physical processes.

The humble circumstances of the birth scene was quite appropriate for the One “who for our sakes became poor” (2 Corinthians 8:9). God was demonstrating true, eternal values in his arrangements for the incarnation of his Son, values that emphasized family relationships and being culturally relevant. As well, the circumstances of his birth imply that Yeshuah understands and identifies with the poverty in which most of the world lives today and always has lived. Finally, the simplicity of Yeshuah’s birth demonstrated the fact that though He was God in human body, He could be approached by anyone and would welcome all who would come to Him. Will we go to the Messiah this Holy Season and allow Him to dwell in our lives all year through?

--by KRTengesdal

*These thoughts have been gleaned from studies under Dr. Fr. Madros and Prof. Lancaster of Jerusalem University College; from studies and lectures under Dr. Hulbert, Dr. Beyer and Dr. Williams of Columbia International University; and from www.ChristianAnswers.net.

Originally published in the Minot Daily News, December 1999. 

Theatrically Speaking

My biggest passion is community theatre, getting the chance to act out and be someone else...

TheatrePics

Here's my theatre bio, and I will keep this updated as new roles occur:

Disconnect

In this day and age, it is so easy for a person to disconnect from life. All they need do is to not answer their phone, emails or such. And those concerned for said person oftentimes are left in the dark. We try desperately to reach out. Due to the fact that today's society-at-large just doesn't connect one-on-one with genuine friendship much anymore, it is easy to disappear. We don't know our next door neighbor. We don't drop in on a friend and knock on their door unannounced. We are connected via cyber, but the human contact disappears. Can we take the blame for someone escaping? Or can we honestly believe that we are their solution? Is it safer to hide behind our prayers, behind our cyber defenses, for fear of stepping on someone's toes or crossing the line of concern? There really isn't any easy question, or answers for that matter.

I've Put Myself There...

You know how when you are pre middle age and you travel physically alone through a few life changing events and you discover how lonely that it can be by not having a human body next to you to let you know with a simple human touch or kindness that it will as always work out? I've put myself there. Tiring.

The whole apartment hunting thing. This whole sorting and purging and packing and moving stuff. Trying to get friends lined up to help with moving, or to respond. Tiring.

Basically pertenearly almost all the major life changing events. On my own. I survived. Tiring.

So, yeah.

The Drama Queen Bellers

Well. This is where I am. Yes, I am at work. In Bismarck. Mentally, emotionally, I haven't the clue where I am.

Life Instigators

Here I sit, the morning after my 45th Birthday. Where do I sit. Where am I. I am here. I work. I act. I believe. I live. Where are you. Last night I discovered the truth about Life Instigators. Those who want to instigate life with me. Those who goad or urge forward. Those who enjoy life. Those who share a mutual, two-way, continued, viable, living and breathing interest in life and all that it entails.