A view of faith

I struggle daily to seek God's grace, love and acceptance, such as found in just a few select passages: Luke 15:1-2; Luke 14:23-24; Luke 7:9; John 4; Acts 15; among the countless others.

What about my validity as a child of God? Let me summarize my life experiences...



Baptized in the Lutheran church
Attendance in the Lutheran church
Confirmed in the Lutheran church
Attendance in the Lutheran Brethren church
Numerous Bible studies and youth groups in the LB church
Attendance in the Evangelical Free church
Attendance in Protestant services in the Navy
1988 recognized and accepted Christ's atoning death as the only propitiation for my sin
Attendance in the Southern Baptist church
Adult full immersion baptism there
Attendance and leading of numerous Bible study groups
Participation in a missions trip to a Choctaw church in Oklahoma
Answering God's calling to The Great Commission
Studying at Columbia Bible College to learn how to know Him and to make Him known
Attendance in an Evangelical missions church
Attendance and leading of numerous Bible study groups
A year of study in the culture and context of Scripture, walking where Christ lived and died
Serving with a Wycliffe Bible Translator missionary family in Cyprus
Attendance in a Palestinian Missionary Alliance congregation, a Scottish Presbyterian congregation and an Anglican congregation
Final year at Columbia included attendance at the Evangelical missions church, a Presbyterian church and an Eastern Orthodox congregation
The year in Tacoma included both Presbyterian and Greek Orthodox worship services and Bible studies
Back to North Dakota included attendance at Lutheran Brethren, Presbyterian, Lutheran and Episcopal churches
Continual daily quiet time
Leading a bible study for the gay community at Good Shepherd Lutheran
Membership in partnership with Good Shepherd Lutheran
The list can and will go onward...

According to Pentecostals, I am not a Christian because I do not speak in tongues. According to the Catholic church, I am not Christian because I eat meat during lent. According to JWs, I am not a Christian because I believe there are more than just 144,000 getting in to heaven. One group will say I do not do enough communion. Another group will say I do too much communion.

How have I tried ridding my homosexuality? Sexual relations with women, suicide, psych wards, counseling sessions (both secular and ex-gay ministries (including Exodus International)), denial and living a strong homophobic life, self-hatred and loathing, abstinence, etc. I lived all those years struggling with personally accepting the fact that I am gay and that my siblings will not accept me. And with the family's faith traditions I also believed that God did not accept me either. I spent years wrestling with that. And out of despair knowing that I am not wanted, I figured that suicide was the only option. But God kept me living. The other two "cures" that I did not try were marriage to a female, or electrical shock or other such aversion therapies.

I have read the Bible and re-read the Bible and wrestled with the passages every one uses to condemn, judge, ostracize and/or view with scorn homogenital acts. As well, I even tried ignoring those passages. But after living in the Land Between where the Bible originated, I realized that there is far so much more to the Bible than just the Western conservative/evangelical/protestant traditions and interpretations. It took me years to discover that there were fresher ways of discovering the depths of Scripture and still not giving up on the sovereignty of our Triune God. What helped me discover that fact was that I came across the books "What The Bible Really Says About Homosexuality", "The New Testament and Homosexuality", and "Stranger at The Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America" combined with my in-depth studies of the ancient languages and cultures of the Bible.

I also have read Neil Anderson's book "Victory Over Darkness" and have kept this list of scriptural reminders of who I really am in our Triune God:

Who I Am In Christ
I am accepted...
John 1:12 -- I am God's child.
John 15:15 -- As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ.
Romans 5:1 -- I have been justified.
1 Corinthians 6:17 -- I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 -- I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.
1 Corinthians 12:27 -- I am a member of Christ's body.
Ephesians 1:3-8 -- I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.
Colossians 1:13-14 -- I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.
Colossians 2:9-10 -- I am complete in Christ.
Hebrews 4:14-16 -- I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ.

I am secure...
Romans 8:1-2 -- I am free from condemnation.
Romans 8:28 -- I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.
Romans 8:31-39 -- I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God.
2 Corinthians 1:21-22 -- I have been established, anointed and sealed by God.
Colossians 3:1-4 -- I am hidden with Christ in God.
Philippians 1:6 -- I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me.
Philippians 3:20 -- I am a citizen of heaven.
2 Timothy 1:7 -- I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.
1 John 5:18 -- I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.

I am significant...
John 15:5 -- I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life.
John 15:16 -- I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.
1 Corinthians 3:16 -- I am God's temple.
2 Corinthians 5:17-21 -- I am a minister of reconciliation for God.
Ephesians 2:6 -- I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm.
Ephesians 2:10 -- I am God's workmanship.
Ephesians 3:12 -- I may approach God with freedom and confidence.
Philippians 4:13 -- I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

As well, I am reminded by Paul and by Micah how simple faith should be as found in 1Corinthians 2:2 and Micah 6:8. Faith in Christ has nothing to do with one's sexual identity. God created me. God loves me. God wants me to live my life with joy and integrity. Our sexual identity is just another human characteristic. It is another of our Creator's gifts, to be embraced, celebrated, and lived with integrity. The point I am seeking to make is that it does not consist of each and every thing that I do to "be" a Christian. It consists of who Christ is in my life, "Lord Jesus, son of the living triune God, have mercy on me a sinner." I am unable to grasp the depths of God’s grace, but I do know that His grace is far truer than man’s misunderstanding, fear, and condemnation of me.